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| Dear you.
Hii. Do you remember me? You know, the one you said was your only one? The one you used to hug and kiss everyday for almost two years. Do you remember me, the girl that you told all your secrets to and also went on cute dates with? Do you remember the one whom you could be serious, funny, caring and sad with? I'm still here. I know i told you i moved on, but i'm still here and i know that you are too. Do you remember the girl you used to play fight with and argue with about who loved who more? I remember you. Please say you remember me. I was wondering, you know if you do remember me, maybe we could go on a date together. And maybe, halfway through a movie, or a walk through the park, if i reached for your hand would that be okay? I was thinking maybe, you know after dinner or a drive i could give you a kiss, would that be alright? I was thinking, maybe after a night of awkward silences i could remind you of a time when we never had awkward silences. Hopefully then, after the whole date is through i was thinking maybe, you know, only if that's okay with you, could i tell you i love you? and you might say it back, but only if you mean it. So say it back okay?I love you,
Me. | | |
| I thought i'd know what to say. Usually i just get on here and it all comes to me. i've got nothing. basically, i told you i was done, but i just said that so you couldn't hurt me anymore. it didn't work.. and now i hurt more because you don't talk to me. i hate myself. because of you. let me let go. | | |
| Jeremy and I got in another stupid fight last night. this time again about Jordan. we were fine until that girl came back. why am i worried? idk.. we were "unofficial." now i have no idea what we are. I don't even know what i want us to be. i wont lie, i love him a lot. i have for almost three years and we've really worked stuff out this time. maybe it can stay good. School tomorrow, i despise it. At least i don't have to work until saturday next week. I'm past all the hype, i'm done being angry with you over this.. i had it coming i know, but i thought this would be different. | | |
| yes, i know i've changed. i know i disappoint you. but don't let me go. please. Spring break has been pretty good. i miss my bffl. it's okay. i don't even know what's going on with that anymore. hang out a lot with burt and robin. also work. and last night i hung out with Rachael, Shea and Jeremy. Rae's kinda my favorite person in the world. and i love jeremy! eeeks! I ripped my smiley. i shouldn't have been rocking out with my toothbrush! | | |
| I have to leave for work in ten minutes. we'll make this fast then, eh? I didn't plan for this to happen. You may think otherwise. you may think that i'm doing this as my little show. shut up. this isn't about you anymore. it always has been and it's not going to be anymore. give up on me. I already have. I'm not much of anyone anymore. and the girl you knew months ago, that you swear is in there somewhere is gone. and i don't see her coming back. you know that more than anything i want her to come back.... I want to tell you it will all be okay. but it wont. and we're not kids anymore. this isn't like when we thought our worlds were over because our mom's wouldn't let us go outside after 6 p.m., we've gotten older. and i don't see things getting easier. This is my way out. and you know i'm a coward i've told you this many times. either decision in this situation is the cowards way out. And when i said i'd be okay, you knew that i was lying. I remember the night you came over. and as we were sitting in my car i told you that i just wanted to stay home that night listening to bright eyes, and taking a whole bunch of random pills. and you laughed nervously not knowing what to say. I felt bad for finally telling you the truth. I laughed and assured you i was kidding. you looked away, not knowing if you should believe me or not. but i smiled and you smiled back. you didn't want me to be like you.... and now... i think it's too late. I wish i could actually tell you this. | | |
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